Writer’s Commentary: Chapter One Of True Love

I decided it would be fun to have commentaries about my story chapters.  I hope to do one a week as time permits.  The first one is chapter one of True Love:

• True Love wasn’t really inspired by anyone in particular or any specific event.  I liked the idea of an outcast betraying her values for popularity and adoration.  Over about a year I put together some ideas about the characters and then started to write early in 2001.  I finished the first chapter, I think, around June or so.
• Gee, isn’t it really, really, convenient that Lauren is right there when Jenny has her fall from grace?  I never explained this very well and actually thought about retroactively adding a scene involving some sort of spying.
• I’ve discussed this with a few other authors over the years, but boy has technology changed.  Burnt CD-R’s for subliminal messages?  These days things would be a lot more efficient.
• I don’t like the scene where Jenny wakes up and Lauren begins to command her.  I would have done it a lot differently today and added some resistance from Jenny.
• I also wish I had developed how superficial Lauren is.  She is just as bad as those she hates; she commands Kristen to dress Jenny rather stereotypically and I wish I had commented on this earlier in the story than I ended up doing.
• When I first posted this story, praise came in for the bathroom scene with the lights.  It’s good, although again I wish it was a little more developed.